Pastoring...

Pastor - it's a title, no it's much more than that, it's a calling. I struggled with that for a while after the Lord called me, because I never wanted it to be about me. This calling should have little to do with Jeff, and everything to do with Jesus. I worried about when someone would finally call me "Pastor Jeff" because I did not want to get "the big head". I even told someone once very early on that they did not have to call me "Pastor", and the Lord poked me in the shoulder immediately after that and I did not know why, but eventually He showed me...

Pastor is not a job. It's a calling, and it is not something that we call upon ourselves or even other people call us too. The Lord God Almighty does the calling. He says so in His word.

Jeremiah 3:15 (ESV) - "And I will give you shepherds after my own heart, who will feed you with knowledge and understanding."

God does the calling, we simply listen and obey. What the Lord showed me is that when someone calls me "Pastor Jeff", they are not paying honor to me. They honor God and His calling upon my life, and what He is doing in me and through me. Is it right for me to deny someone's honoring the Lord? Certainly not - thus the poke in the shoulder. Shortly after He taught me this valuable lesson, He followed it up with one even more powerful.

I was serving as Associate Pastor at House of Agape at the time, and one night at the feeding ministry a young man fresh out of prison came up to me. Everything he owned in the world he wore on his person and carried no bag of anything extra. He would be sleeping on the street that night, and it was cold. After the devotional was given and folks were eating dinner, he asked to speak to me privately. We stepped to the side and then he asked me a question, "Are you a pastor?"

I tell you, the entire world stopped. It was as if everything was frozen, and in my very heart I knew the Lord was asking too "Are you a pastor?" I had to take a minute. Because at that moment I knew that I had an out, I could have said no. And if I did, I would have had to resign my position and return to being a lay person, but if I wanted out, I could have gotten out. This was a put up or shut up moment in my life.

I looked into this man's eyes, full of worry and fear, full of pain and even sorrow over his situation, and I told him "Yes, I am a pastor." And that is the first time that I felt the weight of that truth. I am a pastor, and it's heavy. If you are a pastor, you know exactly what I'm talking about. I feel it now, I feel it always. My prayer every day is that the Lord help me to continue to feel this weight, and never that I should take it for granted or disrespect this weight that I accepted when I told this young man "Yes, I am a pastor."

Pastoring takes on many forms and looks different hour by hour, even minute by minute. One minute you are rejoicing with someone over a huge blessing received, and the next you are mourning with someone else over a lost loved one. I've seen people crushed by someone they love, and complete and utter forgiveness to someone who has committed an unspeakable wrong. I've seen God move in the simplest of ways and yet cause profound change in someone's outlook and take on life.

I say all of that to say this - I am blessed to be called to pastoring, and God has moved in my life in a way that only He could move. This was never my plan, but it was His and as we all know His plans are best. I intend to write more (I know I've said that before multiple times), but I do. I wrote a short prayer for someone not long ago and apparently it had the whole house crying (in a good way). I did not think it that impactful but if so, Amen. That's the Lord at work, I just listen and obey. Thanks for reading, check back for more... God Bless!

PJ